The reason that most New Years resolutions fail is the same reason that some people can’t manage to make the changes to heal themselves. When we set goals, intentions and aspirations every part of us has to be in line with our mission.

When you resolve to do something, whether it’s changing our diet or starting an exercise routine both our conscious mind and our subconscious mind have to be on board.

 

 

Your conscious mind sets goals but your subconscious mind either helps or prevents you from carrying them out.

When we fail to do something that we want to do, we often blame our weak will power. But willpower is one of the worst tools for creating and supporting lasting change.

When our intent to change is fueled by the word “should” or ambition, only a small part of us is onboard. When our plans come from our heart’s true desire we are much more likely to succeed.

 

Let me explain…

Often our goals are thwarted by our own resistance. Why does this resistance come up? What causes this self sabotage?

Your resistance, as annoying as it is, has something to teach you. It is a window into your subconscious beliefs.

 

How it works

Approximately 90 percent of our processing power comes from the subconscious mind (this includes body functions like digesting, breathing etc.) The power of the subconscious mind is much greater than that of the conscious mind.

You might think your conscious mind is in charge but your subconscious is really running the show. And once your willpower weakens, your subconscious mind takes over. Or perhaps your subconscious will never let your willpower kick in.

I’ve seen this phenomenon with potential clients. They contact me because they really want to work on their health but then they disappear. They don’t realize why this is happening. They say they will do it but procrastinate, make excuses to themselves about being busy, or just conveniently forget.

Before you get depressed, there’s a positive side to all this. Your subconscious is not trying to undermine you, on the contrary it’s looking out for you.

It’s like an overprotective best friend who thinks they know what’s best for you, regardless of your opinion. It’s trying to protect you from pain, failure or heartbreak.

And fortunately, there’s a way to work with your subconscious to bring it in line with the intentions of your conscious mind. Even an opinionated friend can be persuaded, right?

 

Don’t get frustrated. Get curious.

If you have a goal you can’t seem to accomplish don’t get down on yourself, but use it as an opportunity to learn what’s really going on with you.

At first you may not have access to what’s going on behind the scenes (it’s called subconscious because it’s beyond consciousness) but you CAN interact with your subconscious by asking it kind and compassionate questions.

Hypnosis is one way to interact with the subconscious mind, but there’s also a DIY method.

Your subconscious wants to be listened to. When you start paying attention to what it is trying to say it loosens its grip on you. If you fight against your subconscious or try to repress what it’s communicating, it will get louder and more powerful. It won’t let go.

Simply ask your subconscious (out loud or in your head) what it is trying to tell you? What is it trying to protect you from? If you ask with curiosity instead of frustration you are more likely to get answers.

You will start to see the nature of your fear and how your subconscious is protecting you from it.  When your fears become conscious you can begin to work with them. You finally have a chance of success.

 

Steps for working with your subconscious

Step number one: Don’t judge your fear. Work with yourself not against. Even if your subconscious fears seem ridiculous, they are very real and have been driving your behavior for a long time.

Step number two: Talk back. Make a promise to your subconscious that it’s worst fears won’t come true. Assure it that you will protect yourself from the worst case scenario and point out the best case scenario. Use real life examples of success to show your subconscious the positive possibilities.

Step number three: Work with affirmations. Affirmations are intended to reprogram your subconscious and work quite well when repeated consistently.

Affirmations need to be said in a positive way. The best time to repeat affirmations is right before you fall asleep or upon waking up because you have the best access to your subconscious in those moments. If you have a meditation practice you can say your affirmations after you finish.

So remember, if you are struggling to make changes and failing, don’t get mad, sad or frustrated. Get curious about the underlying thoughts that are holding you back.

There is a lot of wisdom in our resistance and even a lot of protective love.

Start a conversation with yourself and see what you learn. And remember, everyone wants to be heard, especially your inner voice. Learn to listen and making changes will no longer be an uphill battle.

For more info about working working with the subconscious mind check out this video.

Tweet